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We all have something that we hate about ourself, this I know, it's just about having the guts to tell the rest of the world about the thing you hate about yourself. I know that many hate physical things about themselves... for me, it's not really that. It's something else.
What I hate most about myself is the lack of time I am able to give my children. And if I do have the time to give them, I don't always give it to them. I choose to do something else instead of spending it with them. I hate that I do this, and it has to change. So many times, I feel run down after work, or have some sort of scrapbooking deadline that I tend to put before them, and it just isn't fair. I should not do that to them, nor to myself. This is why it is something that I hate about myself. It's the part of me that chooses other than my children when I should automatically choose them. It's the selfish part of me.
Some may think I am some awful mother, but this is for me to share the truth about myself... this is for discovering myself and figuring things out. Since I have realized this is what I hate most about myself, I am working on changing it. When I get more time available and the kids are around, I am going to spend it with them, rather than on something for myself. I can have my own time after they are in bed or when they are with their dad.... time is too precious to waste at this point.
What about you? What is something you hate about yourself?
2 comments:
I could have written your post. I do not like that I struggle with this and pray that I am able to change
Thank you for being brave and honest enough to post this. I can totally relate and agree to your post. I always think of myself as a bad mother because I spend less time then I could with my little girl. I heard somewhere, "you only get one chance, that's it, to raise your kids" meaning if I don't show her the love and attention she needs now, it will be too late to go back and change anything. That quote (off of Nancy Graces judge show) stroke a nerve in me. How could I be so selfish? I would like to see myself trash the selfish me and give my girl the time she deserves. I'll be thinking of you.
::hugs:
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