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I suppose I am bothered most still by it because in my head it would have been easier for me to have closure had Keith felt the way I did about it. But I can't make someone feel a certain way...
This will pass... I was just thinking, that's all.
Friday, August 14, 2009
14 weeks
This is how far along I would have been had I not miscarried. Yes, I know, pathetic... I still keep track. It's just my way of coping I guess. What might have been crosses my mind every time I see a new baby or a pregnant woman. I get down, and want a baby. Then I think that I might have been that pregnant woman... or early next year, that would have been me with the new baby. Ugh. I hate the way it makes me feel. At that point I need to go home and take a pill. I know that it all happened for a reason and that it was for the best, but that doesn't mean that I don't think about it, nor do I not hurt when those feelings are drug up.
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5 comments:
Emily,
You've probably heard it before but it does get easier. Hand on heart, though, it never goes away. I had two miscarriages between my first two children (I now have three). I don't think so much about the first one so much which was at ten weeks, but the second one which happened at 16 weeks still lingers and it's nearly 6 years ago. Every milestone with my children gives me a reference point. How old she would have been, when she would have started school etc. But life moves on and I went on two have two more successful pregnancies and am ever thankful for that.
Thinking of you through a difficult time,
Donna
Emily, I had to stop and leave you a hug...*HUG*. I know there are no words...
Hugs for you Emily.
I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, but I hope it gets better!
Take care,
Janet
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